perfect words

"I'm trying to do things the right way, but it's much easier to stay drunk on illusion." - Natasha Khan

wont look back

from the time i was twelve until now

i wandered

i wander now

i wonder now

always seeking but never more than dimly seeing wisdom

most of these wandering are done in secret an in snatches

mother does not wander or wonder

older 

and i wandered some more

many 

have roused my curiosity

wandered widely

wondered if i was really very safe

to be friends

It's hard to build up new on old friendship when in that friendship there has been bitter disillusion.
Friendship goes by favour.
There is always danger of a break or a strong force coming in between.
Influence can only me a steady march when one can surely never break away.

cinequest

first movie

blue road

zZzZZz

literally turn next to me indeed she feel asleep

i got heavy eyes

but ill blame it on waking up early 4:30 AM

but still very slow..

and why play the same music

good story 

to slow 

final answer

it got me thinking about a road trip i've always wanted to take

one day i hope

he once came up with the greatest idea

road trip

play all our mixes

drive

grand cayon

hopeless

but im sure if it did happen it wont be boring 

these people found out who they really were

and now that i think about it

i might not really know him

and reverse

starting now the wait is over

working on: 

poster I've narrowed it down to 5 photographs

and i need to start with 1

now I'm deciding colors

i never really know what colors belong together

i just like certain colors

i just don't know the rules

color wheel

I'm really excited about this poster, I've wanted to do something like this for years, and I hope finally ill make at least one.  I know I can make my little dream farts come true because I'm on mini-zine #3.

I'm going to see a couple of films at Cinequest this week. I'll let you know which ones and if good or not and knowing me ill be watching all the love theme artsy philosophy city description ones i find. 

Can't wait to see TOKYO! at the Asian American Film Festival in San Jose later in the month. I have a serious crush on Michel Gondrys work. Secretly I want to make a film about my experiences. Mini Shorts in Michel Gondry style. I can dream. "I dream a lot, but I'm not a real good sleeper." Because really i like seeing the world that way sometimes. I'll have to go back and read my journal someone once wrote something about living then coming back to writing on how you remembered it. I'm going to have to find the exact quote. Two other directors also worked on this film Leos Corax and Bong Joon-ho.

I had some serious family time this weekend. I love my mom and dad.

Even though we know maximum time my mom and I can spend together is 2 days. 

Also a  great time in berkely and met some very interesting people. People that inspired me.

Stimulating.

I still cant stop thinking about someone.

I know I should never have even thought I could still make it work.

While I may be able to trick others, I cannot fool my own emotions, 

thats where I lose myself.