dose of reality

Otra Ocasión

Otra Ocasión

It's that time of year again and I'm putting together a playlist for the end of the year. I send them out with holiday cards. I started this in 2007, so here if you missed it go ahead and download the first one, but this one doesn't come with the hand made cover and all, so don't sleep get them every end of year.

maybe its the rain..

In January 2006 I moved to San Jose. Mia Doi Todd's Manzanita album was on repeat that winter. It rained for a month straight, and I had just experienced love and had left it all. Love that was real and new. I again took this out today. Winter why do you make me feel this way?

It got warmer again that year and a new love had emerged that is when La Ninja: Love and Other Dreams of Manzanita was on repeat. I love going thru older favorite music and falling in love with it again.

moments

im in love,

with living.

there was a life i had forgotten about

it was only because i was living for another

awakened again

to the adventures ahead

and its only the beginning

end is coming close

SPANKTACULAR

is this love..

...or friendship?

"but then there is him....

humilde corazon

hugs

plays the music

sings the songs

makes me burn the candels

listening closely

creative

smile that matches mine

deceive

not meant to be

im not going to stay

im not goint to live a life where i cant be free

got me..."

....

"there is beauty in hope

and you know what the weird thing about this is

its the fact

that i cant open up like this to nobody

you make me laugh and you dont even try.

im in love with that.

and with everything you do."

....

"you think i wouldnt be suprise

that you acted that way

but everytime i see you

i fall in love all over again

i understand

we can never be,

more than a moment.

what summers are dreamed of

memories fading."

....

"i know her name

she might be quite something, to hold you."

....

"i never told you the things i thought as i held you,

but oh well.

ill keep it to myself

for there be many others."

....

"you come back in my dreams

here inside me,

wait until i awake."

....

"an hour

turns into 3

i missed where i was suppose to go

im not jealous of your girlfriend

im intimadated,

of all of them.

im trying to live this honest life

i want to let you know exactly what im thinking

i dont want to keep anything inside

ive made that mistake many times

ill always be the friend

and im in love with that.

im in love with the impossible

but thats why i leave

and follow dreams.

ill leave you behind

because you dont stop me."

....

"i gave up on the pleasure of your kiss so i wont feel the pain

we waited until the dawn came

laying in the middle of the park

warm blanket

warm arms

im bad for him

im no good

yet he stood by my side

im his until poets run out of rhymes

yet

actions speak louder than words

and there is no action

only words

i inspire

i love

he loves

he doesnt say much

so i stand there looking

waiting for him to say something

under the influence i grasp

love

and push

and pull

for him

to understand

late night phone calls

everyday

phone rings

hes too good to me

so good

i fall back

to make sure

its true

ive been here before

im true

im feeling older

i inspire him

yet

he tames the demons inside"

....

"i really dont want to fall in love

hurting is infinite...

and losing people in my life

is far worst.

i cant see my life without us"

these are snippets of journals

span of years of friendship

and after all this he is still the most awesome friend a girl can have

in and out of life

but can't see life without

at the moment.

slow

i have to take things slow

im not very good at that

living by the moment caught up to me

slow down

not sure how to do that.

all i've known is what i feel

mind wanders

i wonder what's next

exploration

live in the moment

keep moving with the ticking clock.

everything is different

every hour

every minute

"you had such persistence,

you wore down my resistance."

weekend

again

where everything was unexpected

morning

"I'll hang my boots to rest, when im impressed."

so are you the one i'm scheduled to meet?

im not a believer

but it happened

you know that one look

the leaves you speechless

he reminds me of someone else; only better

but maybe im so easy to impress

am i melting fast

i believe in the one look

one time eye contact

and you know

they're the one

there is something

connection

smile

thought bubble

dripping into his lips

firm hand on my waist

strollin in the park hand in hand

burst

different circumtances

i walk along the same street

different days

at night